by MaryAnne Brown
click to enlarge
Don’t mistake this now
for the truth.
There are true moments,
true people,
true things,
all of which you can behold
and know some piece
of some truth
as you hold with your own hands
the impermanence of all things.
In yet another instance
you adjust your grasp of things
in the hopes of holding
without crushing
the wings of this moment.
You long to know what
this moment is,
as if you could see
with full eyes
what you will know
someday as you look back
through the lens of your heart
upon the uncut spectrum
of this horizon still
lost in nightfall.
It is true
that in this now
you are lonely,
you are fearful,
you are in pain.
All of these are true things,
true places in the map of your heart,
threads that connect you
to so many others
wandering in the same night.
But don’t mistake this now
for the truth of who you are,
or where you are,
or where you will be
when you next find yourself in the light.
MaryAnne Brown first came to Callanish in 2009 during treatment for genetic bilateral breast cancer and has been coming ever since. Now in remission but living through unexpected permanent side effects from treatment, she continues to benefit from having been able to attend two younger adult retreats, a writing retreat and a regular retreat. She is forever grateful for the honesty, vulnerability and kindness shared in Callanish circles that encourages her to show up and participate no matter how low her energy is. The cookies help, too!